Open Madness

Thursday 18th to Sunday 21st July, dates that appear to have injected a frenzy of golfing madness into both locals and visitors to Edinburgh alike. The Open Championship is coming to Muirfield, home of the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers and one of the oldest clubs in the sport. These iconic Scottish links, overlooking the Firth of Forth, will see the new championship layout played for the very first time. Apparently 156 players will compete at Muirfield, with the leading 70 and those tied for 70th place after two rounds qualifying for the final thirty six holes. And what do the world's top golfers hope to win? The Claret Jug - or to give it the correct name, the Golf Champion Trophy - is up for grabs by whomsoever succeeds at golf's oldest major championship. A lovely trophy, I guess, maybe preferable to the competition's original reward for golfing prowess, the Challenge Belt. Made of rich Moroccan leather and embellished with a silver buckle and emblems I am sure it was very nice. But one does tend to associate belts with boxing .......
Now I enjoy sport as much as the next person, but there are two that bore me to death. One is golf, the other Formula One. I know that golf is very important for the Scottish economy, is played by hundreds of people come rain or shine, and obviously keeps people fit. The scenery surrounding some of the courses is simply stunning, the views breathtaking ...... but I cannot generate any enthusiasm for the sport itself. I am sure I am in the minority judging by "Edinburgh Golf Fever" but at least I am honest. Can I play? No. Have I ever tried? No. Do I want to try? No. Will I follow it on the big screen? Probably not ....... but good luck to all those who do, and good luck to all our home-grown golfers. Greens, bunkers, tees, holes, flags, irons, putters, drivers, balls - it's all alien to me. I guess maybe I still see it as an elitist sport, although it is good to see so many youngsters playing.
I did, however, allow myself to be dragged along to St Andrew Square to witness Open Golf mania at first hand. And it was all there - golf simulator, artificial putting green, EA Sports consoles

 allowing you to play some of the great Open courses, tips from PGA golf professionals. You could even have your picture taken with the Claret Jug. Official Open merchandise was on sale - wear it, hit it or look at it. But there was a crazy golf course - and I love crazy golf! No water, no windmills, no pirate ships, great fun nonetheless.
So will I be falling out of my bed at the crack of dawn on Thursday to watch Ernie Els begin the defence of his title? What do you think! I yawn enough at that time of the day without making it worse. I am sure a great many people will find the whole experience incredibly fulfilling, uplifting even, and it would be wonderful if this incredible summer sunshine were to continue. But I shall not be joining the army of spectators descending on Muirfield. I could not stand there waiting for a ball to drop into a hole, however skillful it may be. And there is not a cat in hell's chance I could keep quiet. For those of you who love your golf, make the most of the weekend, go out and enjoy. And who is going to reign victorious? Adam Scott or maybe
Thomas Bjorn ....... but then what do I know!! I could be right, though. Let's wait and see. And I shall resist the temptation to pop across to Muirfield in the dead of the night and fill the holes with springs. Ball drops in .... ball pops out again. No, I shall retain my dignity and satisfy myself with the Jazz and Blues Festival, the Fringe ..... and the World Athletics Championships. Small holes aimed at by slightly smaller balls, Rupert Bear trousers and umbrellas large enough to shelter Edinburgh Castle. Whatever next .......