Rubbish Rules OK!!

So many beautiful towns and cities adorn our country, yet we appear determined to ruin our surroundings through our inability to clear up behind us. These pictures were all taken in Edinburgh, but this wonderful city is by no means alone in battling the thoughtless behaviour of so many. Rubbish - everywhere we look despite our best efforts to rid our streets of this blight on our landscape. So why do we so carelessly dump litter anywhere but in a bin? Maybe a rather tongue-in-cheek look at this problem is needed.

Tinus Intoxicus (beer cans): often abandoned by their owners along the roadside, in parks and graveyards, and on the beach under cover of darkness, they congregate close to - but very rarely in - litter bins. Appearing in various sizes, they bear distinct lettering around their bodies and emit an intoxicating aroma. There are several different species within the tinus intoxicus family, each carrying its own unique logo. Packitus Crispae (crisp packets): coming in a variety of bright colours, these environmentally unfriendly creatures are found lurking in the undergrowth, clinging to the sides of fences or scurrying up and down streets and alleyways. An opening at one end allows them easy flight when inflated by the wind, and they leave recogniseable scent trails depending on their family grouping. This can include cheese and onion, chicken, beef, and sweet chilli. Wheelcover Roundae (rubber tyres): these can range in size from bicycle to car, lorry and tractor and can be easily identified by large holes in their centres. Their natural habitat is more often or not areas of wasteland, although they can pop up unannounced in forest clearings, along the shore, and in other places of outstanding natural beauty. Although easily captured, they are not so easy to destroy, hence their increasing proliferation in both town

and countryside. 

Bottlum Plasticarum (plastic bottles): another species in a spectacular range of colours, including white, green, orange and garish red, the bottlum plasticarum has a very short gestation period and can produce hundreds of offspring in one year. Often squashed flat in a forlorn attempt to disguise their whereabouts, they are a widespread menace and can be found almost anywhere, particularly during spells of hot weather. Many bear labels denoting their place of origin. Protectus Erectus (traffic cones): traffic cones can be found in an upright position around construction sites, alongside and in the middle of roads,

and lining car parks. Difficult to camoflage due to their luminous bodies and pointed heads, they are kept under the watchful eye of the police. However, any opportunity to escape is always taken advantage of, fleeing to rivers, fields, and trees whenever possible. The more daring climb statues, pillar boxes and bus stops. They love to come out after dark, proving a great attraction to the crazy, the mischievous, and the intoxicated. Baggus Plasticarum (plastic bags): most commonly found in white, special breeding programmes have now produced species in blue, green, orange, brown and yellow. Many are highly patterned, bold lettering and brazen images distinguishing one family from another. Favourite haunts include trees, bushes, barbed wire fences and overhead wires, often taking flight in bad weather and migrating to pastures new.

This may all appear, at first sight, very light-hearted and amusing. But it serves to highlight one of the most pressing problems we face as a civilised society. It is not just an eyesore, an embarrassment to those of us who do clean up behind us, recycle responsibly and care deeply about our community. It damages our environment, blocks our rivers and pathways, poses a threat to an already fragile marine environment, and destroys our wildlife. Yes, seagulls, pigeons and other scavengers can create their own problems, ripping apart rubbish bags, pouncing on discarded takeaways, and scattering waste along our roads and pavements. But they are not the biggest problem, they are not the biggest threat to our planet - we are. So come on, lets all do our bit for our towns and cities, let us have more pride in our surroundings, use the facilities so readily available and put rubbish where it belongs!!! Edinburgh is a truly wonderful city, and I would encourage anyone reading this to come and see for themselves. So let us do our very best to keep it this way.

The Union Canal

 Okay ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, a very brief history lesson before I begin to wax lyrical about the wonders of the Union Canal today. Opened in 1822, the Union Canal was constructed to bring minerals, coal in particular, to Scotland's capital city. Although initially a relatively successful enterprise, it quickly diminished in its importance as a transport medium twenty years later with the appearance of the Edinburgh and Glasgow railway. It became disused in the 1930's, but help was at hand when a revival of interest in canals in general led to the completing of the Millenium Link in 2000 and the reconnection of the Union
Canal and the Forth and Clyde Canal. The Union Canal has the distinction of being Scotland's one and only contour canal, making locks unnecessary, although it does have 62 fixed bridges and three spectacular aqueducts. So how did they link these two canals, how did they replace the original staircase of eleven locks that originally did the job. There is a height difference of 110 feet where the canals meet, so an impressive feat of modern engineering was required. This came in the form of the Falkirk Wheel, the world's only rotating boat lift operating from 35 metres in the air .... and must

be seen to be believed. So please do.

 Okay, history lesson over for now. So what of the Union Canal today. Stretching for 32 miles from Edinburgh Quay in the heart of the capital to the Falkirk Wheel, it passes through tunnels and over aqueducts, peacefully wending its way through some of the area's most tranquil and picturesque scenery. The towpath is easy on the feet, the views equally as easy on the eye. Whether cycling, jogging, walking or just ambling slowly along, there is plenty to enjoy along the way. Hire a boat for the day and absorb the sights and sounds of one of the country's finest canals. Take advantage of an organised trip or stop for a cuppa and a bite to eat. The more energetic can partake of kayaking, rowing or canoeing, the less energetic and more patient in a spot of canal fishing. And there are plenty of seasonal activities, both on and off the water, including the Canal Festival, if you are ever stuck for something to do.

The Union Canal provides a vital corridor for wildlife, both through the city itself and out into the countryside. An oasis of green heralds the arrival of summer, with wild flowers splattering the grass and hedgerows with an abundance of colour, bursting forth along the towpath in a myriad of blue, pink, yellow and white. Swans glide serenely along, moorhens busy themselves

in the reeds, and ducks do what ducks do best - quack! And if you are lucky, you may spot one of the many small ceatures that live beside the canal as well as the inevitable rabbits twitching away in the grass.

We are forever being told that exercise is good for us, and there is no better place for getting those legs in good working order or removing some of life's many excesses than a walk along the canal. So calm, so peaceful, so close to the city and yet a million miles from its hustle and bustle, it is the perfect place to escape, recharge those batteries and go back feeling refreshed and invigorated. So I expect to see you all out there

when time permits - and maybe you should make

time - savouring one of the most tranquil places

on offer in your wonderful city.

The Kiss

Never one to miss an opportunity to seek out a masterpiece of any kind, excitement reached fever pitch when it came to my attention that a piece of sculpture I just had to see was on loan to the National Galleries of Scotland. Rodin's The Kiss is without doubt at the top of my list of artworks to behold in the flesh, so even a slice of chocolate cake and a cuppa were put on hold as I took myself along to see it for myself.
Rodin, one of the most gifted French sculptors of the nineteenth century, was celebrated for his amazing ability to model the human body with what can only be described as sensuous realism. Carved out of pentelic marble, The Kiss depicts young lovers Paolo Malatesta and Francesca da Rimini, characters from the fourteenth century epic poem Dante's Inferno. Their passion grew as they read together the story of Lancelot and Guinevere, and indeed a copy of the book can just be seen in Paolo's hand. The adulterous couple were put to death by the jealous Giovanni Malatesta, the deformed elder brother of Paolo and husband of Francesca, albeit in an arranged marriage. Their lips, so the story goes, had barely met in their first kiss before the tragic tale unfolded.

Rodin in fact produced three full-scale marble versions of The Kiss. The one currently resident in Edinburgh was commissioned in 1900 by a gentleman called Edward Perry Warren, an Anglo-American antiquarian. Once in his possession, he lent the sculpture to Lewes Town Hall in 1913, where its frank nudity caused such a hullabaloo it had to be covered by a sheet! But things change, time moves on, and today this remarkable sculpture is considered to be one of the greatest artistic evocations of physical love. But is it truly awe-inspiring as you stand and behold it for the first time? It was to me ..... and I was not alone in these feelings. The stark contrast of the smooth skin of the two lovers and the rough marble of the rock upon which they are sitting, the freshness of their desire for one another, of blossoming romance and a love that was never to be consummated, a tragedy so brilliantly depicted by the master Rodin. This iconic image of forbidden love, erotic, sensual, evocative, yet tender almost with an air of innocence, is truly moving. One of the greatest images of sexual love, it is visually stimulating from every angle - the promise of the kiss, her arms drawing his face towards her, Paolo's hand resting lightly on her hip as her leg is draped over his ..... the more you look at this breathtaking marble sculpture with its romantic sensuality, the more you are drawn in. So please take a moment to call in and see this for yourself. It costs nothing but a few minutes of your time ..... and the National Galleries of Scotland are well worth a visit in their own right.  

 

Benches

Every day we walk past them, often affording them little more than a sideways glance. We may rest awhile when the burden of shopping becomes too much to bear, when our weary legs say "hang on a sec, we could do with a quick breather." Maybe we just like to sit and watch the world go by, grabbing a few moments respite from a life forever lived in the fast lane. Perhaps we like to sit in the sunshine - yes, it does exist - read a book, chat with friends, or enjoy a bite to eat away from the confines of the office. Could be a spot of courting - is that what they call it these days? Somehow I doubt it. A quick kiss and a cuddle, wrapped in one another, oblivious to all around us. For what ever reason we pause our lives to sit upon a bench, how many of us take time to read the many commemorative plaques that grace these objects of repose? And if we do, how many of us wonder at the stories behind them, the people whose names are carved for an eternity, a memory that means so much to a few, so little to most.       

I love reading these names, etched on the benches along Princes Street, clinging to the backs of those gracing Princes Street Gardens. Anniversaries, events, the passing of loved ones, the loss of life as the ultimate sacrifice, they are all here. Husbands, wives, sons, daughters, parents, eminent citizens - these names trace the history of Edinburgh, those who walked its streets, those who lives within its confines, who worked to help this beautiful city evolve. Let me pick just a few of those to be found.

"In memory of those who left this city to serve with the International Brigade in the Spanish Civil War. Edinburgh City Labour Party." "Presented by the Rugby Football Union in commemoration of the centenary of the First International Rugby Match ever played Scotland v England at Raeburn Place on 27th March 1871." There is one to the Royal Scots Greys Association, another to Ludwig van Beethoven - and one that aroused my curiosity. "A loving remembrance of Gertie Gitana Music Hall Artiste. There's an old mill by the stream Nelly Dean." Who was this lady who has a bench in Princes Street? With a sweet, childlike voice, Gertie Gitana was one of the best loved music hall artistes of her day, topping the bill in every major city and packing theatres wherever she appeared. Born in Stoke-on-Trent, she took to the stage at the tender age of four, a member of Tomlinson's Royal Gipsy Children. She made her professional debut in 1896 at the age of eight and never looked back. Hitting the London stage at seventeen, she was reputed to have earned over £100 per week in her prime, with two pantomimes and one Royal Command Performance under her belt. She made gramophone recordings, and even had two musical shows written specially for her. She was the forces sweetheart during the 1914 - 18 war, often entertaining wounded soldiers in hospital. Retiring in 1938, she made a successful comeback ten years later, her final appearance made on 2nd December 1950. She died of cancer seven years later. And her signature tune, the song that brought audiences across the country to their feet, the song that became synonymous with Gertie Gitana? Nellie Dean. What a wonderfully inspiring story. And what a wonderful name to have commemorated on a bench. Have I impressed you with my knowledge? No, I had to look it up!

Took the opportunity to pop into one of Edinburgh's newest eating places, Ashoka. With a first class reputation, Ashoka is part of the Indian Restaurant group that has grown in popularity across the central belt of Scotland - and has now arrived in the capital city. I partook of their lunchtime buffet - they also do one in the evening - and it was wonderful. There was a truly mouthwatering choice of dishes, mainly Indian but with Chinese and Italian also in the mix, and you could make three trips up to the buffet to eat your fill. My favourite? The chicken korma, but it was all very very good. And there were puddings as well, adding the final touch to a yummy meal. They also have an excellent a la carte menu for the more discerning diner or that special occasion. The decor has been kept simple, but very effective, they have created a cosy dining experience, one in which you feel relaxed and unhurried. The staff are friendly and welcoming and I would heartily recommend Ashoka as a place to eat. And if you can't get out? They also offer a takeaway service which I have no doubt will be every bit as good as the food in their restaurant.      

Meet the Meerkats

 Meerkats here, meerkats there,

Meerkats pop up everywhere.

Compare the Meerkat, Corrie Street,

Bow ties, jackets, suits complete.

On t-shirts, mugs and birthday cards,

Stuffed toys and books ... we work them hard.

I took myself to Edinburgh Zoo

So I could meet the meerkats too.

 

So entertainingly delightful are meerkats they always seem to draw people to them. Always cute and amusing, television fame has undoubtedly raised their profile, with more than one bright spark being heard to mutter "Compare the meerkat.com" while the rest of us were just content watching these furry bundles of fun at play.

Meerkats are highly sociable creatures, incredibly active during the day. Their curved front claws act as shovels, digging their

underground burrows and foraging for food. They feast on such mouthwatering morsels as insects, small rodents, small snakes, eggs and fruit, can often be seen grooming one another, and are not averse to a spot of gentle play wrestling. Their fur is pale brown and silvery brown, and their stomachs act as a kind of solar panel to keep them warm - not a great help in Scotland I hear you say. And they don't like the rain, much like everyone else up here. Meerkats are perhaps most famous for the way they stand upright on their rear legs, using their long slender tail as a tripod. This gives them the ability to see all around them, often keeping perfectly still whilst staring into the distance. Then, heads bobbing up and down they seem to acknowledge there is very little worth focusing their attention on, at least here at Edinburgh Zoo, as they gaze at the folk gazing back at them. Did I hear one say "Compare the human.com" as they scuttled away to find a much more amusing form of entertainment? Fame, it seems, can make those of us yet to find it appear boring and mundane. But remember, Mr Meerkat, there are others waiting in the shadows ready to steal the show! You are cute, we all love your antics, children adore you, we seek you out as soon as we arrive at the zoo, cameras at the ready. You were there before you were television celebrities, you will be there long after all the fuss dies down. We will still flock to see you. But fame, celebrity status? Like a pebble dropped into the ocean, it is there for as long as the ripples spread ever outwards. But when the water is still once more, like the ripples fame is gone forever ......

 

Sammy's Story Continues .......

 Battling against blizzard conditions yet again, I popped into the Botanics to check on Sammy the Squirrel and his family. The snow seems to come down, carpet the ground, disappear just as quickly, and then return with a vengeance as if winter is scared to let spring get a hold. I stopped at the duck pond for a quick chat - or should that be quack - with Donna and Dougie Duck who had managed to find a sheltered spot beside the ice cold water. Mrs Duck was in a real tizzy, waddling up and down, plopping her webbed feet on the gravel in frustration and nodding her head in annoyance. I enquired as to the problem - big mistake. She settled herself in front of me, looking defiantly at poor duck-pecked Dougie in case he dare open his beak, and off she went.

"Call this spring!! There's more spring in my old man than the weather and that's saying something. And the water ..... Never have I known the water to be so cold. My poor tail feathers aren't what they used to be. Plunging into the pond plays havoc with my rear end, not to mention my legs. And   

then there's my quacking. How's a respectable lady duck like me supposed to keep a difficult Duck like Dougie in check when I have a quack like a hungry frog. And talking of hungry ......"

 Giving Dougie a sly wink, I decided to say a hasty goodbye and continue on my way. There's only so much ducking you can take in one day. Searching for Sammy was proving difficult. Snow-dappled pine cones clung to their branches, fringes of white hung from the trees, whilst yellow, white and purple crocuses pushed their way through the frozen earth to add a splash of colour to the winter wonderland. But no Sammy. Robbie Robin was chirping away along the path to the cafe, so I paused a while to wish him good morning. Robbie is always cheerful, his bright red breast emblazoned against the snowy grass. He chortled loudly when I mentioned the elusive Sammy. "Busy he is now, with the little ones to see to. Mrs Squirrel has him clearing the snow, collecting food, and gathering pussy willow for the three bairns. Seldom see him myself at the moment. Seems so long since we sat together in the evening enjoying a glass of berry juice and a game of tiddly nuts. Mind you, its not the weather for sitting around catching a chill. Took a turn about the cafe a moment ago, but nobody sits

outside in this, so no crumbs for poor Robbie. Still, must not complain, gotta keep smiling. Spring is bound to be on its way .... "

 Catching a glimpse of Sammy out of the corner of my eye, I bade farewell to Robbie and turned my attention to my squirrel friend. Never had I seen him looking so harrassed. His poor bushy tail looked much the worse for wear, no doubt from clearing all the snow, his tam o' shanter was pulled down tight over his ears, and his scarf tied securely around his neck. Persuading him to calm down for a second, I leant against the tree and politely asked after the family. "Eat and sleep, sleep and eat ....... chitter chatter, chitter chatter ...... taking up more and more room. The trouble with little ones is they grow, and grow very quickly. But I wouldn't be without them. I guess they will be gone soon enough, out there fending for themselves, so we must make the most of having them home with us. Mustn't tarry too long, though. Mrs Squirrel, god bless her, has me out gathering the first of the pussy willow. She's busy making socks and mittens for the young uns. This weather is so bad, so cold, so much snow. Spring must be round the corner, although it does seem an awfully big corner right now. Must get on now, so sorry time is of the essence. Next time you call by I shall have longer to chat ..... and please bring some nuts. Nuts would be much appreciated." With that he was gone, back from whence he came. Smiling to myself I made my way to the cafe and a warming bowl of soup, making a mental note to ensure an adequate supply of nuts accompanied my next visit.

Pisces

Extreme balloon modelling, one way to describe the incredible feat that has taken place in the National Museum of Scotland as part of the Edinburgh International Science Festival. Both adults and children alike stood awe-struck as the magnificent sculpture that is Pisces came into being before their very eyes. This was quite amazing to witness, the speed and the dexterity with which Pisces emerged at the hands of its creator.

 Pisces exists deep within the realms of Greek mythology, a tightly woven spiral of two fish. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and her son Eros escaped the fearsome monsterTyphon by transforming themselves into this shape. Using this story, along

with some of the key themes of the Science Festival - patterns in nature, the merging of biology and design, and the future of life - world-renowned artist Jason Hackenwerth was inspired to create Pisces, without doubt the largest visual spectacle ever seen at the Festival. Constructed according to the principles of hyperbolic geometry (no, I don't know what that means either, but believe it has something to do with having "constant sectional curvature"), a massive double helix took shape as balloon after balloon was twisted into place. This formed the centre of a gigantic spiralling balloon sculpture, which on completion was suspended from the roof of the Grand Gallery. Jason and his team wove hundreds of balloons to build this intricate structure, breathtaking to look upon from below and above.

 "Entwining the the cosmos with the coral reef, Pisces celebrates the balance that exists throughout the universe, pointing to a message hidden in our double helix 'Everything is connected'". So much planning, so much skill, so much patience ....... and so much interest. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined balloons could be transformed

into such a superb work of scientific artistry. I can manage a balloon dog - just - but something like this ...... I need a lie down just thinking about it!