To Pee or Not to Pee

Relieving oneself in Edinburgh can be as interesting an experience as any other in this fair city. For those much in need of a "comfort break", to give it a politically correct title, many of the local facilities are much as in any other across the country. The variety of colours bedecking the walls are indeed as numerous as the many levels of cleanliness and wide range of bodily aromas that greet those desperate for a quick wee - or a little more!

However, there are a few establishments whose conveniences are somewhat more cultured, and deserve a little more time spent within their walls. Whilst sitting contemplating the job in hand, one can cast one's eyes over a gallery of nostalgic portraits, marvel at the many pairs of eyes gazing down on one's performance, or spend a few moments reading a whole host of newspapers and discoloured sheet music, designed no doubt to both educate and amuse. So where, you may ask, is a convenient (sorry about the pun) place to partake of enough drink to ensure the facilities will be made use of?

 

In the heart of the Old Town is a fascinating venue called The

Cave. Steeped in history, and with an almost gothic feel, these

vaulted rooms are built into the very sub-structure of the South

Bridge itself and still contain the remains of buildings that pre-

date this bridge. An atmosphere of mystery exudes from every

inch of the winding passages, underground corridors, nooks

and crannies that cling to this labyrinth that is The Cave. High

vaulted ceilings, low lighting, dark furniture, and dimly lit

corners offer no view of the outside world. No windows impose

into this hidden land below the streets, a world of creaking stairs

and clammy walls. So it comes as no surprise that this unique venue

has unique toilets. The walls are awash with ageing sheet music,

quaint Victorian advertisements, and portraits of folk long dead.

So pause awhile and enjoy .....

If this whets your appetite for lavatories with a sense of humour,

try those in Morningside's Churchill Theatre. Within this 

attractive and traditional venue for the performing arts, very much

a local theatre in terms of its character and hosting a broad variety

of productions, is Loopy Lorna's. The ideal spot to fill your bladder,

Loopy Lorna's serves up the most amazing afternoon teas, melt-in-

the-mouth scones, soup and sandwich lunches, and get-up-and-go

breakfasts. With teapots stretching as far as the eye can see, the

quirky tea cosies are matched only by the quirkiness of the toilets.

Whether sitting, standing, or washing your hands, a plethera of

rather attractive ladies faces watch over you, pairs of eyes following

you around the room. Although somewhat strange, it is also

strangely comforting to have so many people sharing your private

space. Or is it?