Birthdays ......

Older and wiser ..... that's what they say, don't they ..... older and wiser. Another birthday, another grey hair, another wrinkle embedding itself on your face when you're not looking. Where does time go, and when did it gather momentum, each year now passing in the blinking of an eye. When all is quiet I sit and listen to the clock ticking, listen to the seconds passing, counting each one as if saying it aloud will somehow make time slow down. But it doesn't, does it. The days, the weeks, the years continue to roll on, stretching on into the future, reeling it in until the end comes ever closer. That's the good thing about digital clocks - no incessant tick tock, no marking the loss of another moment, a moment never to be retrieved, never to be taken again.
On occasions I sit back and think, drawing from the past to make the present more bearable. Memories are a wonderful thing. No-one can change them, no-one can take them away from you. They are yours for all eternity, to lock deep within your heart, a treasure to which only you have the key. I guess all our lives are a roller coaster, a ride on which there are times we wish to stay on and others when we wish to jump off. For some of us life is a constant challenge, a battle of wits, a race in which we clear one obstacle only for another to take its place. We solve one problem, allow ourselves a smug smile, a moment of elation, and then plop! Another one drops in our lap. Often I feel the need to scream out "Give me a break, I'm doing my best". Life is no rehearsal, it's the real thing. Just wish there was more time to practise, more time for a dummy run before facing it head on. Still, another year has passed and I am still here.
Okay, so now pull yourself together, take a deep breath .... and smile. Stop complaining young lady - or maybe that should be "not so young." Three wonderful children and four equally gorgeous grandchildren make life worthwhile, keep me as young as it is possible to be kept. Life is not so bad I suppose. A few creaking bones, the odd ache and pain where yesterday there were none, a little forgetful - no, very forgetful, sorry I forgot - a little more time needed to tackle the stairs ..... but life is still with me, still to be enjoyed, smiled at, embraced. Occasionally it does you good to take a step back, look around and be thankful for all you have. Every breath should be savoured, every new day greeted with hope and confidence - hope for the future and confidence that you can face that future whatever it may hold. So I'm getting a little rusty - but only a little - and the mirror is now for passing, no longer for stopping and admiring. Maybe the odd nip and tuck might not go amiss, a helping hand removing boobs from knees and putting back firmly where they belong, a little more make-up, a little less flashing thigh ...... But hey, I'm me. Another year older, a little battle-scarred in places, a little slower maybe, but that's how it is. Sense of humour still in place, wonderful friends, wonderful family, plenty to get hold off ....... This is me, at least for another year. So take me or leave me but please don't burst my bubble. My mum and dad gave me my bubble, filled it with love and set it free. Now it floats along beside me, they take my hand when things get tough, and so life goes on. Happy birthday to me xxx